Fatherhood Begins

All guidesHer mind

Baby blues, and beyond

Most new moms get the baby blues. Some get something more, and partners are often the first to notice. What to watch for, and what to do.

4 min read

The 30-second version

  • Baby blues (tearful, anxious, overwhelmed) affect most new moms in the first two weeks and fade on their own.
  • If it lasts past two weeks, gets worse, or she can't sleep even when baby sleeps, it may be postpartum depression or anxiety. It's common and treatable.
  • If she talks about harming herself or the baby, or seems confused or out of touch with reality, call 911 or 988 now.

The baby blues

In the first few days, most new mothers feel weepy, irritable, anxious, or overwhelmed, sometimes all in the same hour. It's tied to the huge hormone shift after birth plus lack of sleep. It usually peaks around day 3 to 5 and lifts within about two weeks. What helps: sleep, food, a shower, a walk outside, and someone telling her she's doing a good job.

When it's more than the blues

Postpartum depression and anxiety affect roughly 1 in 7 mothers. It can start anytime in the first year. Watch for:

  • Sadness, emptiness, or hopelessness that lasts more than two weeks.
  • Can't sleep even when the baby is sleeping, or sleeping all the time.
  • Constant worry or racing thoughts, or panic.
  • Scary, unwanted thoughts about something bad happening to the baby.
  • Not eating, not enjoying anything, pulling away from people.
  • Saying things like "you'd all be better off without me."

What to do

  • Tell her what you've noticed, gently and specifically: "You've seemed really down for a few weeks. I'm worried about you, and I want to help."
  • Offer to make the call with her: her OB, midwife, or primary care doctor.
  • The National Maternal Mental Health Hotline is free, confidential, and open 24/7, in English and Spanish: call or text 1-833-852-6262.
  • Postpartum Support International: 1-800-944-4773, or postpartum.net.

Emergencies

If she talks about hurting herself or the baby, or seems confused, sees or hears things that aren't there, or is extremely agitated and not sleeping at all, that's an emergency. Postpartum psychosis is rare but serious. Call 911, or call or text 988 (Suicide & Crisis Lifeline). Don't leave her alone with the baby until help arrives.

Do this today

All guides