The five-minute version. Ten things.
If you only read one page, read this one. Each item links to a short guide when you have more time.
Her recovery is a real recovery
Birth, vaginal or cesarean, takes about six weeks to heal from, with bleeding, cramps, and soreness along the way. Treat her like someone recovering from surgery, because she might be.
What she's going throughFeed the person who's feeding the baby
A big glass of water and a snack every time she sits down to feed. Every time. It's the easiest win you'll get.
How to help with feedingOwn the diapers
Every one you're home for. It's a job you can do fully from day one, and it frees her to rest between feeds.
Diapers, baths, and cryingSplit the night
Two people sleeping badly is worse than each person getting one long stretch. Agree on the shifts before bedtime, not at 3 am.
The night shiftSafe sleep, every time
Alone, on the back, in a crib or bassinet with nothing else in it. Never fall asleep with the baby on the couch.
Safe sleep basicsSupport the head, and hold close
Confident beats careful. Do skin-to-skin on your chest while she naps; it calms the baby and gives her a real break.
How to hold your babyGuard the front door
Visitors come when she wants, stay short, wash their hands, and help. You get to be the bad guy.
Stepping up at homeWatch her mood
Tears in the first two weeks are normal. Lasting sadness, no sleep even when the baby sleeps, or scary thoughts are not. Ask, listen, and help her make the call.
Baby blues, and beyondNever shake a baby
If the crying is getting to you, put the baby on their back in the crib, step out, and breathe for five minutes. That's always okay.
When the crying won't stopKnow who to call
Save the warning signs and phone numbers now, while everyone's fine. And take care of yourself: dads get postpartum depression too.
When to call